Sometimes I feel off.
?
on*
OFF.
Sometimes I feel emotionally OFF.
yikes.
I credit COMPARISON.
To preface, I admire the ways in which a person I’m relatively close to, or not so close to, emotionally responds to a situation. I feel as though it’s the right way to respond.
The only way to respond.
so I try to emulate.
“Emulate”..?
How I’m SUPPOSED to feel, plays a huge role in how I respond to situations at time.
eef. I don’t fancy the phrases ‘supposed to’ or ’should’.
A conversation for another time though. My brother urged me to keep these posts
SHORT
and to keep these posts
SHWEET.
So short and shweet, I shall keep them.
We live in a realm where no two people will ever be the same, though the expectation is that we all think feel and act on a similar spectrum.
LOONEY!
but here is my not so subtle HOT TAKE to tickle your wittle fancy:
So rather than driving myself mad trying to justify how it is I’m feeling, I’ve instead dumped my value onto something far more meaningful:
Empathy.
:)
I don’t feel passionate about a lot of things.
Lost my AirPods?
Dropped my phone in the toilet?
Crashed my car?
Cheated on me?
I've been around the block. I was fine.
These might come across as mediocre but it’s moreso to get my point across,
which
POINT BEING,
I don’t feel very strongly about things in the ways most people do.
Some could argue ‘psychopathic’ but I feel that argument has validity only within the spectrum of the human emotion.
THANKFULLY, We live within the bounds of empathy
I’m a woman of many words. Though, as we all singlehandedly sit and watch the world crumble, I find myself silent.
“Off” is it not?
That a collective can feel so similarly about a topic and I just sit here, indifferent.
But it dawned on me, after a session with my therapist of course:
Everything is a spectrum. and rather than putting my focus on my emotional spectrum, I choose to focus more on my EMPATHETIC spectrum.
My state of emotion is a reflection to the state of emotion of those around me. I find myself perplexed by the despondencies that other people feel not because I’m an empath and carry the weight of the emotion,
But because of where I stand regarding humanity.
Let’s take pain for example.
Pain knows no bounds. It knows no religion, no race, and no ethnicity. But somehow, we still try and find ways in which to justify one person’s pain to another. I credit the dysfunction of the human psyche,
And greed.
But that’s a conversation for another time bc
..
Anyway, rather than trying to explain to you how Im not, in all actuality, a psychopath, I’m gonna hit pause on this tangent and continue with what it was I was trying to say.
I’m not passionate about a lot of things.
“I don’t feel very strongly about things in the ways most people do.”
I think it’s because a lot of my life doesn’t feel all that real. Though not in a melancholic way, rather in a 3-Dimensional “im nothing but a spirit roaming through this unconventional reality via a vessel” type of way.
A cool vessel, of course.
the boogie life chose me!
gross.
nevertheless,
It’s me.
‘cool vessel’.
“Vessel”.
Looney word, innit?
The things I’m passionate about have a lot to do with the facets of this 1-dimensional reality that truly make this lifecycle of mine feel real.
“Lifecycle”.
Also sounds a bit looney.
For me, ‘fulfillment’ is
‘people’.
It’s ‘small talk’.
It’s ‘walking into an elevator accompanied by a complete stranger, and figuring out a way to unravel their entire life’s story’.
it’s ‘to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches' on a hot summer’s day
And ‘to Netflix and chill’ on a rainy one.
;)
It’s ‘deep conversations at 2am’
followed by ‘histarical laughter’ at 4.
I’m not entirely sure how to spell HiStAriCaL. Spell check keeps saying Im wrong.
Regardless, these are the ways my heart, and therefore my spirit, feels most fulfilled.
The purpose of life itself is to cultivate a sense of awareness for the ego, at a point where we unconsciously live at the complete level of the self.
In other words, it’s to build your spirit in the most selfless and empathetic way our 1-dimensional selves know how, so that your spirit is a mere hop-scotch of a step away from becoming
Fully selfless
Fully empathetic
and Fully for the other.
Could you imagine a life any better than that????
Unfortunately
I, Tal Sahar, will never quite get to ‘fully selfless, fully empathetic, and fully for the other’.
But my soul will.
And WHEN IT DOES, it’ll be accompanied by the narrative I’ve been fortunate enough to help build.
So in short,
I’m off, but Im on.
I’m on because I believe my heart is in the right place.
As is yours.
Everything in this life of sin is a spectrum. And that spectrum is as subjective to you as it is to me. There will never be a a right or wrong way to feel, just ~a way~ to feel. We just have to be open to seeing it, understanding it, and accepting it, for all that it very well is.
But that takes vulnerability..
;)
