Hi,
I'm 5 months going strong in a country I've never lived in before.
That country being Israel.
It's dope
The Culture's dope.
The people are dope.
The social environment, in its entirety, is
well
Dope.
EVEN in times of such distress.
That distress being Bovid20.
Though, I guess it hasn't been all that distressful.
You see, global distressfulness (lets call her Bovid20) forced me to stay within the confines of my 7x7 foot room.
Normally I'd go insane in the membrane, though Bovid20 allowed me to soul-search, so to speak. An experience I had never deemed a part of my overall narrative.
Its shifted the way I view many things.
Most things*
one being the concept of ego.
The word 'ego' when used, is triggering.
Unequivocally so.
And it shouldn't be if we really delve into the understanding that we all have it. It's what allows us to identify with ourselves. It's mechanistically wired to do so. Unfortunately, We the People automatically connect the ego with aggression and insult.
The ego is the "I".
Everything we identify with, whether a person a place or a thing, is done so by way of our ego. Those "things", and our incessant longing for more and more of those said "things", is our ego's constant search for self identification.
Our attachment to other human beings and thus the sadness and distress that comes from the inevitable detachment of those given relationships, is our ego's constant search for self identification.
See, the moral of all that was aforementioned is that we will never find long-term fulfillment, and therefore happiness, in the things or people presented within our external reality.
That fulfillment can only come from the core of our overall being: our inner sense of self.
Simply put, breaking down the constructive barriers of our emotional despondencies will allow us to seek enlightenment through things unrelated to the desires of our ego.
I think you can guess that this post is gonna be ALLLLL ABOUTTTTT how I've come to perceive thee wonderful world of 'ego' in a much different light.
Not a negative one rather a more positive one
hence “light”
but “in a different light” is a saying used by many so I guess the word ‘light’ when used in this context is completely independent of my positive or negative perception on the matter.
REGARDLESS, my preconceived notion on the concept of ego has completely shifted, and as a product of such, so has my life.
You ever take a yoga class
and your instructor politely directs you out of Shavasana and into a seated pose
Where you're then instructed to place your thumbs on your third eye center
Where the instructer then FORMALLY PROCEEDS TO UTTER THE WORDS
“Namaste”
..and you then utter them back
because
welll
thats what we're technically ‘supposed to do' at the end of every yoga session
Contrary to popular belief,
the word is actually iNcReDiBLy pOwErFuL
no cap.
this one word, that we have all come to know and love
translates to:
“The Spirit in Me Honors the Spirt in You”
simplistic innit.
not quite.
As much as we CONVINCE ourselves that we don't judge or compare
we do.
subconciously.
our ego is wired to do so.
keyword: wired.
so as much as we CONVINCE OURSELVES WE DON’T,
we really actually do.
and that right there, is the overall bane of our ultimate existence.
I just finished a book called “Synchrodestiny”
It talks about how amongst all the disorder and chaos in the world, there still lies a secret order. That order originating through desire which is provoked through intention and ultimately fulfills itself into a given destiny. It's the pre-existing notion that above all else, the universe always has your back.
In other words, Deepok Chopra is the literal embodiment of a living legend.
Its one thing to believe and think a certain way, though to actually be able to communicate those thoughts and beliefs is an art form only so few are gifted with.
Eckhart Tolle also being one of them.
and I guess me.
Okay, fine. Not me.
At the end of this amazing, life changing, highly recommended by all ('all' being me) book, there are exercises paired with principles relating to specific mantras and sutras for days 1-7 of the calendar week.
The Second Principle. It was the Second Principle, Day 2 of 7, that sparked my almost sudden shift in thought.
In the inner teachings of this Second principle there lied a Fourth exercise titled:
“Namaste”
It suggested that when when coming face to face with another human bean, the moment I make eye contact with that individual, I am to recant the word ‘Namaste’ in my head.
That inner dialogue signals to my subconscious that I really AM the other and the OTHER IS ME.
in other words, Unity Consciousness prevails.
.
I sound insane don’t I.
I do, but
...
Because it is this insanity, in and of itself, that perpetuates the inevitable fate where we are all destined to
quote on quote
'wake up' .
wake up*** ?
"wake up"..
Question for the audience: Do you place the quotes alongside the phrase at which you're quote on quoting? yeah, right? no? fuck.
Asking for a friend.
Anyway,
Its a means of perceiving the world with such a profound sense of conciousness that those asleep have only one way of understanding it:
“insanity”
AND INSANITY, BE THAT AS IT MAY,
has completely shifted the way I perceive others, but most notably, myself.
It has played a role in my relationship with my parents
with my friends.
This one simple notion, where we really all exist as one, stemming from the same universal intelligence
really does confirm that
I,
Tal Sahar
AM Beyonce
and Beyonce
is
Me.
I know. Pretty neat huh.
_____________________
To those who have rolled their eyes a time or two whilst reading this,
I am well aware I sound absurd.
I am also aware of the fact that the beliefs I hold within myself don’t align with the large majority
just as the beliefs of the large majority don’t align with the beliefs I hold within myself.
All is kew tho.
When the ego is absolved (which mine definitely isn’t...not yet..) there is no right or wrong, there is only truth.
That truth is justified in, but is not limited to:
whatever it is you choose to believe in
however it is you choose to dress
whatever music it is you choose to listen to
and
whichever books it is you choose to read
..or don’t.
To make this long and unriveting story short,
We’ve come to live in a world where ego, satiated by the means of wealth, power, comparison and greed, has completely taken over the beauty of life itself:
Being.
I want to sit here and say I’ve forgotten how to “Be” but I don’t think, up until this point, I really ever knew how to just
Be.
Be grateful.
Be aware.
Be conciouss.
Be mad.
Be anxious.
Be confident.
Be satisfied.
*takes a long and dramatic deep breath in*
Just. Be.
So how can I forget something that, prior, was completely unbenownst to me?
I can't.
Awareness is hard. Awareness for things at a level far deeper than what we as a society have acclimated to is hard. It's uncomfortable. Uncomfortability is hard. It's painful. Annoyingly so, there is no coming to consciousness without pain. It takes healing. Vulnerability. Honesty. All of which are hard when forced to acknowledge. Super hard. Just as change is. But it's also rewarding.
Rewarding in ways far greater than a brilliant blog post like this one could ever truly express.
"If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. [Pain] cracks open the shell of the ego."
To save us from the redundancy that would unfold had I decided to delve into the meaning of that previous quote, I'm just gonna wrap it up right quick. Hopefully it makes sense to you.
It's 12:34 (1 2 3 4) [synchronicity!] I typed this all on my phone. Came to me. Effortlessly. Because I guess I'm
just.
that.
bitch.
To preface, which I guess I should've put in the beginning:
I was about to clean my room when all the sudden my mother’s angelic voice popped into my head:
“You can’t be messy! No man is ever gonna want to be with a woman who’s messy!”
and that’s when I came to the sudden realization:
“I don't need no man then”
and for some unexplainable reason
my brain jumped to the idea of “ego”
So here I am
writing about ego.
Kind of an all over the place blog post which I’ve conciously decided NOT to edit, so take that into account when reflecting on the debacle of what you just read.
I’m gonna go back to cleaning my room now.
Make my momma proud and allat.
Thanks for reading,
xx
Tal.