Tal here.
I AM ON MY WAY BACK FROM MY IMPROMPTU “6 month Hiatus”
That hiatus being paradise....or I guess you could say
~ Honolulu ~
So yea, paradise.
T'was a grand ole time, though I’m not gonna bore you with my vote of appreciation for all that ive experienced and all who I have been privileged enough to meet.
Instead, let’s talk about my flight.
Though, to preface, it HAS been quite a while since I've written SO if you find this blog post to be somewhat more mundane
cut a bitch some SLACK...
..Im RUSTY.
Anywho, as I was saying:
Delta Flight DL883
SEAT 23D Main 3
Origin: Honolulu (HLI)
Destination: Los Angeles (LAX)
I’m tired. I slept a total of 3 hours the previous night in hopes of snoozing through this wholesome 5 and a half hour flight.
Its hour 2 and a half and I’ve YET to find a comfortable position that would warrant my much needed nap.
Triggered to say the least.
Or am I?
No ya, most definitely triggered.
But I thought, what better way to express my unwarranted tribulations on the matter than on paper.
Well, I guess virtual paper.
#firstworldproblems
I was initially going to write about my time in Hawaii and just use, you know, my
t r i g g e r e d n e s s to get the creative juices flowin..
BUT, I then realized
AINT NO WAY I’m alone in this.
AINT NO WAY Im the only one who finds it seemingly IMPOSSIBLE to maneuver my body in such a way that warrants SOME SENSE of comfortability on such a long and disconnected flight.
(DIsclaimer: quite nice not being on my phone)
also disclaimer..
“long” is Lowkey a pussyshit type o' statement for I head to Israel at the end of the month and CANNOT WAIT to see how that monstrosity of an 18 hour flight compares to this cute little 5 hour little ting.
Anywho,
To sit here and spend 3 and a half hours writing about all that I had experienced in Hawaii when, let’s face it, none of you really truly care, would be somewhat counterintuitive….right?
SO,
Rather than wasting your time, and therefore wasting mine, I’ve decided to take you on a journey I call:
“Adversity on flight DL883: Tal’s triumphant journey to comfortability”
Again, cut me some slack. The title is trash. I know that it's trash. But it's all my brain could cough up at this moment in time.
...
Anywho,
If there was a poll I could insert here, I most definitely would because I beg the question:
Am I the only one who waits for the kink in my neck to fully form UNTIL FINALLY remembering that the chair I’m sitting in actually RECLINES??
No?
Sick, guess I really AM somewhat original.
(Disclaimer: “be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” Heard that in a movie once upon a time, how dope.)
Lucky for me I brought a cardigan. First cardigan ive had since the 7th grade!!!! STOKED!!!!
I say this because the cardigan, in and of itself, ALSO acts as a pillow, or better yet, a blanket!
Mindblown????? I know. Same.
(oo, FLIGHT ATTENDANT JUST BROUGHT SNACKTHHHH. Kind bar for the win???)
Ok ok, back to where I was.
Kink in my neck.
No..
Reclining chair!
So I recline the chair.
And boa let me tell you, orgasmic.
“orgasmic” … who in the hell (PUT THE MUFFINS IN THE FREEZUH) uses the word orgasmic…
ugh, okay…BACK TO WHERE I WAS :
I recline the chair.
Yes.
Chair is officially reclined.
But as I start to descend down a dark and stormy pa-
that was dramatic.
As my seat starts to lower
I then realize…
“PURSE”
Purse?
Purse!
My purse is made of black leather but an inviting and somewhat soft type of black leather.
Ever sat in a couch like this before?
Well, it’s this type of leather.
But how in the hell would I orient the purse in a way that would provide me with OPTIMAL COMFORTABILITY???
I realized, that with an entire row to myself, the opportunities were endless.
This was MY world and I was just LIVIN in it.
Wait, no.
that saying doesn’t make much sense in that context.
Here, let me try again.
This world was officially MY OYSTER.
Yup, that’s the o-
Nah, still don’t really like it.
But, I can’t really think of anything else so we’re gonna stick with that one. Mediocrity at its finest?
I. Think. Yes.
I decided to lie recumbently across all three chairs, where my feet extended in the direction of the aisle and my back against the wall.
Well, window. My back against the window.
(Here. For all my Visual Learners out there.)
A lingering sense of hopefulness appeared.
Will tal find the position shes been so desperately longing for ?!?!?!?!
I place the purse on the arm rest, though wrapped the strap around my neck to ensure that if it falls, I still have convenient access to it. Brilliant, I know.
“wrapped the strap” - that definitely sounds appropriate.
But I mean, You know how purses can be, those little rascals..
My next move was to involve :
~the cardigan~
I realized that with sleeves it literally, and I mean
LITCHRUHHLYYYY
Could act as a blanket but like .. also a sweater.
A sweater blanket???
Most definitely.
Well not quite
But Here,
To save you from the utter boredom that IS me trying to explain the fuckery of my sleep-related ensemble, ill simply tell you this:
Ive found the recipe for your on-flight success and YES covid played a pivotal role in all of this considering you know, I had a whole row to myself BUT
10/10 would recommend this. TEN OUT OF TEN!
And by 10/10
I mean myself.
I would recommend this.
Me.
Tal Sahar.
So, in reflexiveness..
~ TAL IS HERE ~
If you have any questions regarding this set up, I will be more than happy to explain in greater detail.
My brother said my blogs are too long and that’s why no one reads them so im trying to make them a wee bit shorter.
Kinda tuff not gon lie..
-_-
Additionally,
I know my resting bitch face can be a bit nasty and I may or may not seem more intimidating than…i dont know…Vin Deisel himself
BUT feel free to message me with any questions or concerns.
Im sweet, super sweet. Like sugar. Im suuuhweeeeet like suguhhhhh.
Anywho,
Hope this was somewhat insightful and not all that boring!
Emphasis on the insightful, because it really truly might have been all that boring.
Thanks for tuning in!
Maybe I’ll write another, more updated version, of this on my 18 hour flight to Israel :)..
Stay tuned!